Lemon the Duck

Duck Jokes to Quack You Up!

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Q: What time does a duck wake up?
A: At the quack of dawn!

 
Q: What do ducks get after they eat?
A: A bill!

 
 
Q: What do you call a crate full of ducks?
A: A box of quackers!

 
 
Q: Who stole the soap?
A: The robber ducky!

 

Q: What do you call two ducks and a cow?

A:  Quackers and Milk.

 

 

Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with fireworks?

A: A firequacker!

 

 

 

Q: What's another name for a clever duck?

A: A wise quacker!

 

 

Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?

 

A: Foul (fowl) weather.

 

 

Q: What says "Quick, Quick!"?

A: A duck with the hiccups

 

 

Q: Why do ducks watch the news?

A: For the feather forecast!

 

 

Q: What has webbed feet and fangs?

A: Count Duckula

 

 

 

Q: Where did the duck go when he was sick?

 

A: To the Ducktor

 

 

 

Q: What did the detective duck say to his partner?

 

A: I hope we Quack this case.

 

 

 

Q: What did the duck say to the banker?

A: My bill is bigger than yours.

 

 

 

Q: Which side of a duck has the prettiest feathers?

A: The outside!

 

 

Q: What did the duck carry his schoolbooks in?

A: His Quackpack

 

 

Q: Why did the duck fly south for the winter?

A: Because it was too far to walk.

 

 

Q: Which animal grows down?

A: A duck

 

 

Q: Why did the duck cross the park?

A: To get to the other slide.

 

 

Q: What's a Duckworth?

A: I don't know, what does a Henweigh?

 

Q: How do you get down off a horse?

A: You don't get down off a horse... you get down off a duck.

 

 

Customer: How much is that duck?
Shopkeeper: Ten dollars.
Customer: Okay, could you please send me the bill?
Shopkeeper: I'm sorry, but you'll have to take the whole bird.

 

A man and a duck are walking down the street together. Suddenly the man notices a low-flying airplane coming right for them. The man yells "DUCK!!!!" and the duck looks back at the man with an angry face and yells "MAN!!!!"

A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Do you have any chapstick?" When the pharmacist hands it to him, the duck replies, "Thanks, just put it on my bill."